Wednesday, May 27, 2009


I specifically ordered food today so as not to lose the momentum from yesterday (thank you, Arabist). Sometimes I just subsist on coffee and a piece of fruit all day. I know it’s bad for me. The fruit is the concession I made to that. So yeah.
First I asked if anyone wanted to order food with me; one of the responses I received was “la2, batalna nakol khalas.” I was silent. Further questioning revealed that she brought her own lunch. This, I think, is quite a different thing.
I solicited lunch suggestions from friends, my menu store being thin right now. One suggestion was koshari – immediately followed by: “If you did that you would spend all night groaning, and clutching your stomach with gas pains. Also, I do not relish the prospect of spending the night smelling your moist koshari farts.” In deference to this pimp expression I did not order koshari, which totally wipes out a work day, anyway.
I ordered from Arabica. I’ve eaten food from there often, but stopped getting it delivered due to two deeply maddening practices:
  1. When you order wraps in the restaurant, they bring you awesome potatoes. They do not when you get them delivered, unless your order the potatoes separately. The price is the same. You can imagine how apoplectic this makes me.
  2. When you get soups delivered they won’t bring you the croutons they serve you in the store. Less of an issue.
When I complained about this I received the inspired response that when you dine in, the potatoes and croutons are complimentary. Buncha crooks!

Anyway. Menu dearth. I figured I would try their pasta, which has only relatively recently been added to the menu. I had the creatively named “chicken pasta”, alleging to have chicken, mushrooms and beef bacon. I substituted pomodoro sauce for alfredo sauce (asking for “red sauce” did not achieve the desired result). He asked me if I wanted mozzarella, and I hesitated, and asked for it on the side. He assured me it would be mixed in, not just in a lump, so I acquiesced. Wish they had parmesan.

The food arrived at a reasonable time costing a whopping L.E. 44. The pasta itself cost L.E. 32, and the mozzarella was NINE POUNDS. Welad el a7abi! L.E. 3 delivery. Did not tip (I hate tipping in general).

It was a large portion – and that ends my list of pros. There sauce was too sharply tomato-ey; the mushrooms canned; the mozzarella in congealed, fatty lumps; the chicken fibrous and dry; and the beef bacon absent. As was anything in the garlic family. Fuck them with sharp sticks.

Don’t do this shit.

(By the way, feel free to email me your reviews. Because it’s only one Delivery douche right now.)


Safiya Outlines said...

Ha! Ha! My lunch was better than yours.

Marmalade sandwich made with big slab of fresh bread, bag of cheesy Doritos and a bulimic sized bar of Cadbury's double choc.

All of which I polished off while reading my brand new copy of Private Eye.

Commiserations on your crap lunch. Paying for substandard food is very annoying.

arabist said...

I like Arabica's feteers and some of their wraps. And their coloring pencils. Too bad they don't deliver well, that soup sounded awful.

Safiya, nothing better than reading a Private Eye over lunch. Even if it's delivered quite unregularly in Cairo.

Forsoothsayer said...

safiya dude, you're taking breatfeeding waaay too seriously. come on you only need so many nutrients!
arabist...didn't order soup!